Worm Holes

May 8, 2008

    The scientists (and when I say “the scientists,” I am referring, of course, to the scientists) have not yet acknowledged the existence of a phenomenon every one of us knows about from first-hand experience.

    Ten minutes ago, a box of matches that was supposed to be on the coffee table in front of me disappeared into nowhere.  I searched for it everywhere but couldn’t find it.  Then, after an interval of about five minutes, it was back, just where it was supposed to be.

    This has happened to everyone.  You’re looking for some simple object — a comb, a button, a pen, a note — that was right in front of you a moment ago, and it’s gone.  You search for it but can’t find it.  Then, when you’re not looking, it comes back mysteriously after a few minutes, or longer in some cases.  Either the object is exactly where it should have been, or in the general area, or, in the worst case, in some utterly inexplicable location (behind the fridge, under the sofa, in the bathroom, on the window sill, etc.).

    You probably thought your eyesight was going, or you had simply suffered an interval of temporary insanity.  But that’s not the explanation.  The truth is that the object disappeared into a “worm hole.”

    A “worm hole” is a kind of distortion in space-time that sort of spins into existence for unknown reasons.  It has two ends, like a tube, and it sort of flutters and floats around.  If one end passes over an object, poof!  It’s gone.  After a while, it comes out at either end, and the worm hole closes up and disappears.

    You may wonder, if this is so, why doesn’t your dog or your wife disappear?  Well, it’s simple.  They’re too big to slip into the worm hole.

    Now, I don’t want to hear any objections from psychologists that this is just a trick of the mind that everyone is subject to now and then.  That’s just what I’d expect them to say.  They want us to think there’s something wrong with our minds because they’re out to make a living.  They won’t admit the existence of ghosts, UFO’s, or psychic phenomena either.  It’s just our feeble minds playing tricks on us!

    Well, let me tell you, a friend of mine lost his keys.  He put them on the dresser and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.  When he came back to the bedroom, the keys were gone.  He searched all over the bedroom, but to no avail.  Two hours later he found those keys — in the kitchen, of all places, in the cat litter!  But the cat was outside the whole time!  Explain that, Mr. Smarty-Pants Psychologist!

 

     Copyright @2008, by Crad Kilodney, Toronto, Canada.  E-mail: crad166@yahoo.com

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