Crad Kilodney--New Writings

The GM Zombie Car

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    GM is about to unveil a revolutionary new eco-friendly car that will be America’s answer to high gas prices, global warming, and a flood of cheap imports from Asia.

    The Zombie Car is unique in that it has no engine.  Instead, it is powered by three zombies standing where the back seat section would be.  The floor and roof in the back have been removed to allow the zombies to walk on the roadway, pushing the car forward.  A horizontal bar is built into the frame behind the front seat for this purpose.  A second horizontal bar behind the zombies allows them to turn around and push the car backwards.

    The Zombie Car is box-like and functional, with room for three in the front.  It is made of aluminum and is very light.  Under the hood there is a second trunk.  The electrical system is minimal.  Front and rear lights use ordinary D-cell batteries, and the radio uses AA’s.

    According to GM CEO Rick Wagoner, who granted me an exclusive interview, the price of the car will be just over $2,000, not including the zombies.  He concedes that the Zombie Car is slow and unsuitable for highway driving; but for city driving it is ideal, since city traffic moves at about the same speed as a person walking.

    And what about the zombies?  Who are they, and where do they come from?  “They’re real zombies,” says Wagoner.  “We get them from the Caribbean.  They cost $300 extra for a set of three.  But you can get any three people to push the car if you want to.  A lot of people are into fitness and will enjoy the exercise.”

    Wagoner would not disclose where the Zombie Car would be built.

    The Zombie Car will be unveiled officially at the  Seattle Auto Show, Nov. 5-9, at The Qwest Field Event Center.

    Copyright@ 2008 by Crad Kilodney, Toronto, Canada.  E-mail: crad166@yahoo.com

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