Non-smoking is not allowed in my home. That’s right. All visitors are required to smoke. If you are a non-smoker, please leave your nasty habit at home, because I do not want to be exposed to your second-hand non-smoking. My house, my rules, get it?
You have choices when you visit me: cigarettes, cigars, or a pipe. If you come unprepared, I will supply you, good host that I am. My place is set up for the pleasure of smokers. Here is an ash tray. Here is a lighter. I can open the window. And there are two air purifiers going at all times.
Anyone who can’t stand tobacco smoke is a wimp. So take your sissy, prissy non-smoking out of here. I don’t want your kind in my home!
Eisenhower smoked. MacArthur smoked. Patton smoked. Montgomery smoked. Churchill smoked. I’m with them! Non-smokers can camp with Hitler.
I’m smoking my pipe right now. Everything I’ve ever written was written while I was smoking. Do you love my writing, or don’t you? If you do, prove it. Light that cigarette now!
Copyright@ 2009 by Crad Kilodney, Toronto, Canada. E-mail: email@example.com