Is Arthur Ripstein Gay?

September 17, 2013

    The University of Toronto Department of Philosophy will present its annual Jackman Memorial Lecture on Thursday, October 31st, 8 p.m., in the Main Floor Lecture Hall of the Jackman Humanities Building.  The lecture is titled “Are Animals People?”  It will be presented by Prof. Arthur Ripstein, who must be gay, because he looks just like John Frank Corvino, another gay philosophy professor.

    Prof. Ripstein is Canada’s foremost expert on the philosophy of veterinary law.  He poses this hyposthesis: If some animals are smarter than some people, then the categories of animals and people cannot be absolutely separate.  It therefore follows that some animals must be people, and vice-versa.

    Paradoxes are nothing for this Jewish Viking, who slices through them like a sword through soft cheese.  The Globe and Mail has called him “The Golem of Canadian philosophy, striking terror into the hearts of his enemies — especially those who would pose tricky questions to his innocent graduate students, for whom he feels a gender-neutral protectiveness.”

    Prof. Ripstein championed the cause of humanitarian treatment of lobsters sold in Kensington Market and pushed City Council to pass a bylaw to protect live seafood.

    Prof. Ripstein bets on horses occasionally and is a supporter of the horseracing industry.  His best-known book is Fast Hooves, Hot Men, an intimate behind-the-scenes look at jockeys.

    Refreshments will be provided by Diana Raffman, Director of Graduate Studies, who is famous for her very spicy sausage rolls.

    Margaret Opoku-Pare, Graduate Administrator, will also entertain the audience with her pet monkey, Bozo, who smokes cigarettes and does various amazing tricks.

    Anita DiGiacomo will, as always, be in charge of the decoration theme.  Each lecture has had a different unusual theme.  This year it is inspired by the waiting room of Sudbury’s bus station.

    The annual Jackman Memorial Lectures address important academic issues of relevance to today’s politically confused world.  Additionally, they offer a rare opportunity to mingle with the high and the mighty of Canadian academia.

    Admission is free, but a voluntary donation will be appreciated to help sustain the Department’s Outreach Correspondence School, serving residents of penal and psychiatric institutions throughout Canada.

    Seating is limited to 200.  Please call Office Manager Suzanne Puckering if special arrangements are required for the obese.  The number is (416) 269-8416.

Copyright@ 2013 by Crad Kilodney.  E-mail:


One Response to “Is Arthur Ripstein Gay?”

  1. Tom Jacoby Says:

    My invitation must have been lost in the mail. I have waited and waited for he Main Floor Lecture Hall of the Jackman Humanities Building to be decorated in a Sudbury’s bus station.waoiting room theme! Ah well, next time.

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