The Bum In the Restaurant

September 22, 2013

    There is no such thing as things happening for no reason.  There is a reason for everything, even if we do not know what it is.  This is what holds the universe together.  We call it “cause and effect.”

    So it was that due to extraordinarily complex causation, the dirtiest, foulest-smelling bum in the city was suddenly found seated at a table in the Intercontinental Restaurant.  The maitre d’ rushed to the table and was about to speak angrily but instead found himself at a loss for words.

    The bum said, “I don’t need a menu.  Just bring me a sirloin steak, baked potato, and asparagus, and a bottle of red wine.  Any wine you think is suitable.”  The maitre d’ gasped, astonished, and went into the kitchen.

    Of the next twenty minutes nothing is known, as everyone’s memory has been mysteriously erased.

    After that, a waiter brought the bum his meal.  The bum ate the food and drank the wine.  No doubt, everyone must have wondered, “What will happen next?  How will he pay?”

    Suddenly the lights went out, gun shots were heard, and someone screamed.

    After a few seconds, the lights came back on, everything was normal again, and no one had been hurt.  But the bum had disappeared.

    Promise me you will never speak of this to anyone.

    Copyright@ 2013 by Crad Kilodney.  E-mail:


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