During 2012, a bizarre string of events took place in Pakistan that were never reported in Western media.  Sixteen dentists exploded for no apparent reason.  They were not shot.  Their offices were not bombed.  No trace of any explosive was ever found.  No weapon was found.  No threats had been made against them, and no one claimed responsibility.

    The first mysterious explosion took place on January 12th in Islamabad, as reported in the Pakistan News.  Dr. Munawar Jamal, of 19 Service Road West, exploded in his surgery at 5:30 p.m. after finishing with his last patient.  Arms, legs, and head were more or less intact but scattered, and the trunk of the body was obliterated into mush and spread all over the walls, floor, and ceiling.  The only things in the room that could have exploded were two tanks of nitrous oxide and oxygen, but they were undisturbed.  Police were baffled.  They suspected suicide at first but could not discover any physical means by which the doctor could have exploded himself.

    This event set the pattern for all the others to follow, the only difference being whether or not there were witnesses.  No witnesses were harmed, but they were terrified.  None could provide any details to explain what happened.  Such was the case on January 31st, also in Islamabad.  Dr. Kiran Hannan, of 3 Ibn-e-Sina Road, was attending to a patient when he suddenly exploded.  This case was also reported in the Pakistan News. 

    February 2nd — Lahore.  Dr. Farooq Haider, of 26 Main Shalimar Link Road, exploded while talking to a patient.  (Reported in the Daily Nine O’Clock.

    February 29th — Karachi.  Dr. A. Mudassir, of Main University Road, exploded while alone.  His assistant had just stepped out of the room.  She insisted everything had been perfectly normal.  (Reported in Daily Nai Baat.)

    March 23rd — Dr. Javed Aslam of Bilal Hospital, Rawalpindi, exploded while examining an x-ray in front of a patient.  The patient said the doctor had been in fine spirits.  Police theorized he might have been shot through the window with an exploding bullet.  However, the window was closed and undamaged, and no fragment of a bullet was found.  (Reported in the Pakistan Observer.

    April 9th — Dr. M. A. Soofi, of 34 Lawrence Road, Lahore, was about to go out for lunch and was talking to his receptionist when he blew up.  The case was investigated by Punjab Police.  Mr. Khan Baig, Acting Inspector General, said it was the most bizarre case he had ever come across in his career.  (Reported in Daily Raaj Pakistan.

    Two cases on consecutive days aroused great suspicion by Islamabad Police.  On May 7th and 8th, Dr. Abid Malik, of 18-D Mushtaq Mansion, Islamabad, and Dr. Amad Ali, of 2 Galaxy Arcade, G-11 Markaz, Islamabad, exploded in their surgeries after finishing with a patient — the same one!  The patient was a Frenchman named Houle.  Police were astounded by the coincidence and immediately suspected Houle of foul play.  The mystery was deepened when it was found that M. Houle had nothing wrong with his teeth.  He claimed to be going for a check-up, but he could not explain to the satisfaction of police why he would go for check-ups on consecutive days to two different dentists.  M. Houle claimed to be a tourist and to have no occupation.  Islamabad Police detained him for a week, then reluctantly let him go.  Inspector General Bani-Amin Khan told media that they could find no evidence against him, and the medical examinations on the doctors’ remains could not even determine a cause of death.  Dr. Ghulam Akbar Khan Niazi, Chairman of the Islamabad Medical and Dental College, was called in to advise on the cases and was, in his own words, “completely mystified.”  (Reported in the Pakistan News and Daily Nine O’Clock.

    The terror continued:

    June 22nd — Lahore.  Dr. Muhammad Zia Ul Haq Naeem, of 178Y Commercial Area, blew up while doing a routine cleaning.  His assistant said, “His chest seemed to explode.”  This incident was reported in the Frontier Post, which publishes editions in Quetta and Peshawar, as well as Lahore.  In Quetta, anti-American readers suggested the United States was using a secret weapon against Pakistan, and this rumour was widely repeated.

    August 13th — Karachi.  Dr. Awab Alvi of the Alvi Dental Hospital, 23-B Sindhi Muslim Society, exploded in plain view of the patient in his chair, his assistant, and another patient who was waiting.  The fire alarm was set off, but there was no fire or smoke.  (Reported in the Daily News.)

    September of 2012 was the dreadful climax:

    September 6th — Lahore.  Dr. Haroon Anan, of 398-Q Model Town, exploded in his surgery with no witnesses.  (Reported in Lahore Times.

    September 13th — Peshawar.  Dr. Taimur Khan, of 4 A/C Park Avenue, University Town, blew up in the face of a patient.  (Reported in Frontier Post.

    September 17th — Quetta.  Dr. Muhammad Hassan, of Mehr Abad, exploded while talking on the phone.  (Reported in Frontier Post.

    September 20th — Lahore.  Dr. Zafar Iqbal, of New Garden Town, had just finished filling a cavity when he “exploded into a thousand pieces,” according to the terrified patient.  (Reported in Lahore Times.

    September 27th — Rawalpindi.  Dr. Fahad Arshad, of Bahria Town, had just put a patient in the chair when he exploded.  The  patient screamed.  When the secretary saw the bloody mess, she fainted.  (Reported in Pakistan Observer.

    September 28th — Islamabad.  Dr. Shahid Mahmood, of 170-B, Street 68, had been discussing a delinquent account with his secretary.  He then walked into his surgery and exploded.  The secretary told police, “He was not angry.  He was only slightly annoyed about the money that was owed.”  (Reported in the Daily Nine O’Clock.

    Since this last incident, the explosions have stopped.  Authorities are no closer to finding an explanation.  The Pakistan Dental Association was for a while besieged by calls from frightened dentists and patients, as well as police, media, and government authorities, to whom it could give no useful information or reassurances.  Dr. Waheed ul Hameed, President of the PDA, said, “We have no idea why dentists should explode.  There must be some explanation, but we don’t know what it is.  We can only ask our members to continue to go to work and serve their patients, and we ask people to continue to go to their dentist, because dental health is very important.”

    The U.S. State Department and Defense Department would not answer inquiries concerning this article.

Copyright@ 2013 by Crad Kilodney.  E-mail: crad166@yahoo.com

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    Voting is now open for the 2009 Canadian Dickhead of the Year!  You don’t have to be Canadian to vote.  Everyone in the world is invited to vote, so spread the word!

    I have collected for your consideration ten worthy candidates who made the news during 2009.  They’re all exceptional dickheads, but only one gets to be named the Canadian Dickhead of the Year.  You decide.

    Here they are, in alphabetical order:

1. Dr. Moustafa Adams

    This Edmonton doctor, an Egyptian-born Muslim, is suing Air Canada for $162,000, alleging racial profiling after a dispute with a flight attendant during a flight from Edmonton to Cairo, via London.  At Heathrow Airport he was interrogated by police for 45 minutes.  On the return trip, Air Canada made him sign a document promising not to create a disturbance.  Adams claims he has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of Air Canada’s treatment.  As well, he claims he has suffered guilt, shame, degradation, mental anguish, fear, flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, and a phobia for flying.  (Source: Edmonton Sun, September 20, 2009)

2. Keith Barton

    This 73-year-old Minto, New Brunswick, man smashed six dogs in the head with a hammer to “euthanize” them.  Five of the dogs died.  Barton had been charged with failing to provide properly for the dogs under the provincial SPCA Act.  Testifying in his own defence, he said he feared what might happen to his dogs if they were taken away by the SPCA, so he decided to euthanize them himself.  He said he believed he had the right to do this.  (Source: Fredericton Daily Gleaner, January 8, 2009)

3. William Blair

    Toronto Chief of Police William Blair allowed thousands of Tamil protesters to block downtown Toronto streets, as well as the Don Valley Parkway and Gardiner Expressway, on numerous occasions from April 27th to May 16th.  The protesters were demonstrating their support for the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam.  (Toronto has the largest population of Tamils outside of Sri Lanka.)  Not one protester was charged with blocking any roadway.  Instead, hundreds of police officers were occupied for extended periods watching (and protecting) the protesters and directing traffic, thereby compromising the safety of the rest of the city.  When Blair was hired in 2005, he said his main concern was to combat racism.  That year he became the first Toronto Chief of Police to march in the Gay Pride Parade.  More recently, he held a recruitment day in the gay ghetto to encourage gays and trannies to become police officers.  (Sources: cnews.canoe.ca and Toronto Star, April 27 to May 16, 2009)

4. Daniel Jacques Chartrand

    This 39-year-old caregiver left an elderly man with Parkinson’s Disease lying in his own urine and feces while he spent the sick man’s money.  Approximately a million dollars was spent on luxury cars over a period of two years.  The elderly man was discovered emaciated and lying on the floor.  He eventually died in a nursing home.  A judge called Chartrand’s callousness “despicable” but was constrained to give him a light sentence because of precedents and because Chartrand was schizophrenic.  (Source: Ottawa Sun, August 11, 2009)

5. Crystal McPherson

    This Winnipeg crack addict tried to set a house on fire because she didn’t like the quality of drugs she was getting.  Asked why she set the fire, Crystal McPherson told police: “Because they are a bunch of fucking crackheads and they ripped me off.”  The 37-year-old addict threw a pop bottle filled with gasoline on the porch of the house, starting a small fire.  A resident was able to put it out.  (Source: Winnipeg Sun, March 27, 2009)

6. Erik Millett

    The Principal of Belleisle Elementary School in Springfield, Newfoundland, dropped the singing of “O Canada” from the school’s morning routine.  Principal Erik Millett made the decision for the sake of “cultural diversity.”  He said he did not want to force children to sing “O Canada” if it went against their beliefs.  He also said that the anthem was a distraction to students.  Few people have objected to the new policy, according to Millett.  (Sources: Saint John Telegraph-Journal, January 23, and cbc.ca, January 28, 2009)

7. Christine Papakyriakou

    This 52-year-old accountant from Hamilton embezzled over $7 million from her employer, Andres Wines, to feed her gambling addiction.  Now she is suing two Niagara casinos and the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corp. for $10 million for giving her perks designed to keep her gambling.  Papakyriakou also gambled extensively in Las Vegas and Aruba and on the Internet.  (Source: Hamilton Spectator, April 25, 2009)

8. Prof. Ayelet Shachar

    This University of Toronto legal scholar says that people born in prosperous countries should be forced to pay a tax for their citizenship.  In her book, The Birthright Lottery, Prof. Shachar says it is sheer luck if we are born in a nice country — not something we actually deserve — and she likens it to European feudalism, where land passed untaxed from one generation to the next.  She says that the benefits of being born in the right place are like an inheritance and should be taxed.  The money would, of course, be doled out to people in the Third World, who were not born so lucky.  For Americans, the “birthright privilege levy” would be about $1,000; for Canadians, a little less.  (Source: Toronto Star, May 2, 2009)

9. Brittney Simpson

    This 19-year-old woman from Kitchener, Ontario, assaulted an Olympic torch bearer in the town of Guelph.  Simpson was one of a large group of protesters known as the Olympics Resistance Network, who carried signs with the slogan “No Olympics on Stolen Native Land.”  The torch bearer was knocked down, but the flame did not go out.  Simpson was charged with assault.  The Olympic Torch Run has been harassed by the Olympics Resistance Network and aboriginal protesters on several occasions.  (Source: Canadian Press, December 28, 2009)

10. Mahmoud Yadegari

    This 38-year-old Iranian immigrant, now a Canadian citizen, has been charged with attempting to ship pressure transducers to Iran for use in uranium enrichment for nuclear weapons.  Mahmoud Yadegari purchased the devices from a Boston-area company and falsified the paperwork in order to export the items without a permit.  The company tipped off U.S. agents, who in turn tipped off the RCMP.  (Source: Toronto Star, April 18, 2009)

HOW TO VOTE

1. Vote by e-mail only.  The address is crad166@yahoo.com.  

2. Pick your THREE favorite candidates, and tell me your FIRST CHOICE, SECOND CHOICE, and THIRD CHOICE.  They will be weighted 3 points (First), 2 points (Second), and 1 point (Third).  The winner will be based on total aggregate points.

3.  Votes will be accepted until May 31, 2010.  Everyone is eligible to vote — not just Canadians.

4.  Your personal comments are welcome, but they must come by e-mail.  Don’t post them in the “Comments” box.  I will publish the best comments.

5.  The winners (top three) will be announced in June.

    The previous Canadian Dickhead of the Year ran in 2003.  You can view it at www.cradkilodney.net.   

    Got a news item for me for next year’s Dickhead Contest?  E-mail it to me.  The Dickhead candidate must be Canadian, he or she must be named, and the news source must be indicated.

    Copyright@ 2010 by Crad Kilodney, Toronto, Canada.  E-mail: crad166@yahoo.com